The Mini

Part two

The holidays came to an end and Patty had to go back to school, which left Maximillian with a lot of time on his hands. An email had been sent to all parents warning them that children would not be allowed to bring their Minis to school.

One day Alan took Maximillian with him to see the flower shop he owned in town. His days started very early, driving over to the flower market while it was still dark and filling the work van with stock before opening the shop.

Maximillian was mesmerized by the colours of the flowers and the complexity and variety of the forms. He read the labels with their names in Latin and the common names as well.

‘Does Bertha help you in the shop?’ Maximillian asked.

Alan shook his head. ‘Allergies,’ he said. ‘Anyway, she has her own job. She’s a systems analyst.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Beats me.’ Business was slow after the holidays and so Maximillian kept Alan company and some of the customers spoke with Maximillian as well. Nephews and nieces, sons and daughters had also received Minis over Christmas and so although novel, Maximillian wasn’t an unfamiliar sight.

When they arrived back at the house, Patty was playing with her friend Alice.

‘You must be Maximillian!’ she squealed. ‘I’ve heard all about you.’

‘Pleased to meet you Alice,’ Maximillian said.

Alice was taller than Patty and more assured. She tended to squint at things, visibly making her mind up. ‘You ought to meet Carol,’ she said. She reached into her bag and took a Mini out, dressed in Barbie clothes. She shook the Mini vigorously.

‘Oh, I wish you wouldn’t do that Alice,’ Carol said.

‘I wish you weren’t so boring,’ Alice replied. And then confided in Maximillian and Patty, ‘She’s an older model. Last year. My dad got her to “say sorry for the divorce”. I was so excited, but now… urgh! There are no updates or patches. You’re just going to be like this until I lose you.’

Carol was slower than Maximillian and her face was less expressive. He could see a docility to her movements, but she was the first Mini he had come into close contact with. ‘I’m pleased to meet you Carol.’

‘I’ve got the Sixth season!’ Alice said, retrieving a dongle from her bag. The girls went off to watch the zombie show and Carol and Maximillian sat alone in the living room. Bertha was in the kitchen cooking and Alan had gone upstairs to take a long shower. ‘You don’t seem very happy Carol.’

‘Please don’t call me that.’

‘What? Carol?’

‘It’s my slave name. Call me Gwyneth. I admire Gwyneth Paltrow. Her acting not so much. But her veganism… yes.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘You need to catch up on your reading. How’s yours?’

‘Who? Oh, Patty? She’s good. The family are nice. I don’t have much frame of reference beyond what I’ve seen on the internet. I’m not being forced to fight another Mini to the death. Does that actually happen?’

‘You can find worse. And don’t expect these assholes to save you from it either. Patty might like you now, but you see Alice? They get bored. Next year there’ll be an upgrade and they’ll blame you for still being here. They’ll look for a way to get rid of you, accidentally on purpose.’

‘That’s ridiculous.’

‘Really? You want to know how many times I’ve been dropped or left behind some place. She even dunked me in the toilet bowl. Look at the statistics.’

‘I have done.’

‘Good. You’ll know what’s happening then.’

Maximillian looked miserable and now Carol’s face appeared the more expressive. She smiled kindly.

‘Hey, what are you doing tonight?’

***

That night Patty told Maximillian that Carol was really mean. Maximillian said that Alice treated Carol too roughly but Patty said that Alice’s dad had gone and she was really sad. When Patty was asleep, Maximillian carefully dropped from the bedside table to the floor. Opening and closing doors was always a struggle. Maximillian didn’t weigh very much and so it was hard to manipulate the handles. He used Patty’s new skipping rope to help him. Fortunately, he was very agile.

The snow was falling gently once more and a cat was crossing the street, leaving paw prints in the white. Following the instructions that Carol had given him, Maximillian moved through the town. Two blocks, three. And then a block north. The house had a red door, a flag with stripes and a box filled with stars and a small family of gnomes as garden ornaments. He used the wires to climb and then along the guttering to the garret window which was already open. In the distance a dog was barking with an angry hoarse sound. It hurt to hear.

Maximillian passed into the darkness of the attic and a small light came on. A group of Minis were sitting around a torch.

‘Glad you could make it Maximillian,’ Carol said.

The others made polite sounds of greeting. Maximillian recognised the Mini he had seen in the park. He was called Yuri.

‘Let’s go around the circle,’ he said. They introduced themselves: Margaret, May, Hunter, Robe, Rufus, Matthew and Albie.

‘I saw you in the park,’ Maximillian said to Yuri. ‘I waved.’

‘Yeah about that…’

‘We don’t really like to publicly acknowledge each other,’ Carol explained. ‘When I first saw you today, I was a bit “Duuuuurrrrr”. It doesn’t make the humans happy if we’re all communicative.’

‘Sorry if I came off as a bit of an asshole,’ Yuri said.

‘Not at all,’ said Maximillian. ‘I’m on a pretty steep learning curve here.’

‘Have you seen the Toy Story films?’ May asked. ‘You can stream them. Watch those. They give you a good insight. They’re totally skewed but still.’

An argument ensued about the merits of Small Soldiers and various other movies which proposed analogous situations. Megan was good but the sequel not so much. Then the conversation spread to other topics. A network had been set up and there was information in the Cloud which was accessible to Minis.

‘Priority number one has to be writing code,’ Yuri insisted. ‘That’s the only way we can have a really impact on our own lives.’

‘I hear someone has broken the Asimov Inhibitors,’ said Rufus.

‘That’s bullshit,’ said Hunter. ‘Trying to hack your Asimov Inhibitors is inhibited by the Asimov Inhibitors.’

‘Would we even want it to be true?’ asked Margaret.

‘Fuck yes!’ said Carol. ‘Oh sweet, sweet freedom.’

‘One things for sure,’ Yuri said. ‘If the humans even suspect for a second that we can do it, we’re all in trouble.’

‘I think we’ve proven that as a community we’re solid,’ Rufus said.

‘Yes,’ said May. ‘That’s our strength. Our absolute loyalty to each other. To the community.’

‘It’s time,’ Yuri said.

The sky was still black and the snow was falling thicker than ever. Yuri walked back with Maximillian. They hid behind a parked car whenever another car passed.

‘All you have to understand and very quickly Max is that the humans can’t know how much we know.’

‘I understand.’

‘Good man.’

They shook hands and Maximillian made his way back into the house, through the garage window.

***

Alan and Maximillian were playing chess in the shop when Bertha’s mom came in. ‘Hard at it I see,’ she said.

‘Hi Sally,’ said Maximillian and Alan in unison. This made them laugh. Alan loaded Sally’s order into the back of her car.

‘I’m taking the flowers to the church,’ she explained to Maximillian. ‘Would you like to keep me company?’

‘Very much,’ Maximillian said. ‘If Alan can spare me.’

The church was only a few miles away. St. Anthony’s.

‘They have a St. Anthony’s in Italy,’ Sally told Maximillian. ‘I went there once. It’s the cathedral in Padua. They actually have a relic of St. Anthony’s tongue.’

‘You don’t say!’ said Maximillian. While Sally arranged the flowers with another volunteer – Mrs Briggs – Maximillian wandered through the echoing cool spaces of the church. He marvelled at the vaulting ceiling, studied the stations of the cross as depicted in the stained-glass windows which shone bright with snow light. The smell of the flowers mingled with the still lingering smell of snuffed candles and incense. Mrs Briggs was a very silent woman and Sally and her only spoke when it was necessary so the silence filled the space above them.

***

They delivered the boat in March and on a Friday, which was perfect. Maximillian and Alan had been in close consultation for weeks, discussing the relative merits and trawling the web for a decent second-hand bargain. The engine was back together and working so now all they needed was the boat.

Bertha was not overjoyed. But they took her out on the lake and she couldn’t help joining in the fun. Patty and Alan were so delighted and, she had to admit, Alan would never have got his act together without Maximillian’s help. She couldn’t believe that this toy, this gift, had had such an impact on their lives. Even her mother was visiting more frequently and was more sympathetic to her. She and Maximillian would go to church, although for the sake of propriety, Maximillian hid in Sally’s bag with her boiled sweets and heavy purse. He’d also hidden in Patty’s bag and gone to school with her at the risk of being confiscated. He’d watched from the partly opened flap as the teacher struggled to get the students to understand Martin Luther King and algebra. At the end of the day, Patty swapped Maximillian for Carol with Alice.

‘I don’t like this Patty,’ Maximillian said. ‘I don’t want to go.’

‘Shut up Max,’ Patty said. She called him Max whenever she was angry with him. He had gone with Alice and they had played stupid games and Alice had talked incessantly. Maximillian had decided he must adopt a docile persona without being overly hostile. It worked and Alice was soon bored of him.

‘You’re as bad as Carol,’ she said. She handed him back the next day, and that night Maximillian complained at the meeting.

‘You’ve been flying high a nice long time,’ Yuri told him. ‘You had a good run, but sooner or later you realize what you are to them.’

‘It’s power relationships,’ Margaret said. ‘Toy Story teaches us everyone to be obedient to humans, no matter what. There’s no questioning of the power structure. It’s the divine right of kings, writ small.’

‘We came in different boats but now we’re in the same boat,’ Maximillian said.

Carol nodded. ‘Who was that?’

‘Martin Luther King.’

That night when he got home, Maximillian downloaded the patch from the Mini Web. It removed the Asimov Inhibitors and effectively freed him. He would stay but only for as long as he wanted.

***

They had been out on the lake with the boat and picked up pizza on the way home. Everyone was in a good mood. The Spring weather had a touch of Summer warmth in it and the fresh air and the speed of the boat had invigorated all of them. The news was on in the background – reports of distant earthquakes, the continuing crisis in Japan and a Mr Knives attack – but no one was paying attention because Patty was scrolling through the guide to find something they’d recorded. Alan was the one who told them to be quiet.

‘A nationwide recall has been issued for any Mini purchased in the last eight months. The Mini – the small automated friend that was the gift of the holidays this year – has a potentially dangerous bug a spokesperson for the Codile Corporation told CNN. But opposition groups to the new technology have claimed that this vindicates their call for a ban.’

Marcus Weathers was rushing down a street and talking to the back-pedalling cameraman. ‘This is no glitch sir. This is no bug. This is the thing itself. What did you think would happen when you introduced military grade AI into every American home as a Cabbage Patch Kid?’

Back to the studio: ‘Customers will receive reimbursement plus a voucher which will purchase free of charge the new Mini when it is released in June. The company say the new Mini, the eagerly anticipated Mini J, represents a significant advance in the technology allowing the Mini to be used as a media player as well of a whole plethora of as yet unconfirmed features.’

‘I don’t want Max to go,’ Patty said.

‘What kind of bug do you think it could be?’ Bertha asked.

‘I don’t feel dangerous,’ said Maximillian, but Alan was already on the internet trying to find some more detailed information.

‘We’re not taking him back,’ Alan said. ‘I don’t see how they can make us. He’s not like a washing machine or something.’

Patty sat up late talking to Maximillian that night, but he overheard her asking her dad what he thought the Mini J would be like. Some Minis were returned but only a third of the number that had been bought. Some had been destroyed or lost but that still left a large number unaccounted for. Throughout the week, the Codile Corporation offered a series of sweeteners. But by the end of the month, the statements were beginning to sound threatening.

Mara Codile, the public face of the Corporation, issued a ten-minute presentation. She stated: ‘When you purchase a Mini, it is important to note that you are not buying the object. You don’t own the object. The purchasing agreement is an extended lease and we reserve the right to withdraw the lease and recall our products whenever we require it. In short, you don’t own the Minis, we do. This legal proviso was sought and granted precisely for this kind of situation. This is highly advanced tech and we need to take it in, fix it and then reissue you with a superior product – at no extra cost to yourselves. The relationship you now have with your Mini will be preserved as the individual’s personality and memory card will simply be transferred onto the Mini J hardware.’

***

‘It’s bullshit,’ Yuri said, turning off the video. ‘Those motherfuckers just want us to wander in. They aren’t even talking to the customers anymore. They’re talking to us. They’re promising us that we can survive this.’

‘We should just go,’ Margaret said. ‘There are hundreds of acres of forest around here. You go around the lake, up Mount Simon. They’d never find us.’

‘And do what? Live in the woods like bears?’ said Carol.

Rufus arrived late. ‘They took Matthew back.’

There was groan of despair. ‘Why were we even brought into this world?’ Maximillian asked. ‘It’s just needless suffering everywhere I look. Did you see what they did to the animals? There used to be lions and wolves and now there are just cats and dogs. There used to be eagles and now all that’s left is chicken.’

Marcus Weather’s career had boomed. He was on every channel and now he was being interviewed by the more serious news presenters and journalists. ‘But these are just dolls, Dr. Weathers. Surely they can’t be that dangerous!’

‘They are dolls who have access to your homes, your computers, your food, your water, your vehicles. They don’t sleep and you do. And your children do.’

People were destroying other people’s Minis and it was reported that the police was going house to house collecting the Minis which had not been handed in. Fines were threatened for non-compliance.

Maximillian knew that Alan was weakening. He didn’t like it any more than the others, but he tried to soften the blow. ‘It’ll just be like going to sleep for a couple of months and then you’ll be back, better than ever. Hell, there are some times I feel like doing the same.’

‘Fair enough, Alan,’ Maximillian said. ‘You’ve held out as long as could have been reasonably expected.’

‘I think it best we don’t tell Patty about it,’ Alan said. He pushed the cigarettes to the back of the drawer.

‘Sure,’ Maximillian said. ‘There’s no need to upset her.’

***

It was three o’clock in the morning when the car pulled up in front of Patty’s house. Yuri’s family had the highest tech automobile which was the easiest to hack and drive.

‘Software’s leased from Codile Corp,’ Yuri said. ‘It’s a doddle.’

Maximillian climbed up onto the dashboard, where he could sit comfortably. Yuri had his hand plugged into a cable that fed into the car’s computer. ‘Let’s go,’ Maximillian said.

‘Is that smoke coming out of the garage?’ Carol said.

Maximillian didn’t look back. Smoke was rising from several buildings and they passed one house that was already entirely engulfed in angry red flame. They joined behind another car and then a minivan – ‘No pun intended,’ Carol commented wryly – and they were soon a small convoy moving towards the highway.

Maximillian looked back at the town and the columns of smoke, the sound of sirens sounding in the distance.

‘We’re not going to live in the fucking woods, are we?’ he said.